22 January 2013
18 January 2013
Completely written by me. Go watch.
03 July 2012
Recently I had been to a fancy pub with my friends. Yes, of course, after being duly permitted by my wife, Salman Khan's family's drivers and Maharashtra Government in general. We all got comfortable at the bar and we ordered for whiskeys. And they did this:
What the fuck is wrong with the bartenders man. It took 10 mins to pour the bloody whiskey and ice. I mean its cool to do this when you are alone in your house and want to amuse your self, but when a man orders his Jack Daniels with crushed ice, give him the damn thing. Plain and simple. No need to give him a fucking crash course in distillation process, while you are at it. I mean, whats the point in all this. The nukkad ka baniya dosen't fuck around with sugar like this when I order a kilo of it just to improve sales now, does he? Grow up bartenders. Tend the bar. Don't make a circus out of it. They don't call you Bar-Trapezist or Bar-acrobats. Stick to the Bar-MITZVAH. Pun intended. All I ordered for was a large peg. Did not mean to make the process LARGE. Just make the freaking peg large and hand it over man. Everything has been turned into a show business. Stop the bloody ACROBATICS.
And what the fuck is wrong with the fucking cursing happening on screen in the fucking films man. Pardon the profanity, its the Character's requirement. It's not like calling a chutiya a chutiya in a film is akin to calling a spade a spade. You can call them Kamaal R Khan. Collectively. I sincerely feel that profanities should be restricted to Rock shows alone. I somehow can not digest films with so much fuckery.
Speaking of Acrobatics, what the fuck is with this new in thing that all films try to incorporate in their chases these days. Parkour or Free Running as they call it. If you are alien to the concept here is a short clip to enlighten you.
What the fuck is wrong with you guys man. Can't you simply run. Run like normal people do. And they call it Evolution. Darwin derived that Humans evolved from Apes. With the monkey like acrobatics that these nincompoops do, I think Darwin would be proved right practically. Its not fucking evolution, its going back to YOUR roots nitwits. Just look at the guy who holds that pole and somehow completely turns parallel to the ground. Its not the kind of polls that Chetan Bhagat holds these days. But their I.Q is proportional to each other it seems. By that, I meant the pole and Chetan Bhagat.
Anyways, where would Chetan Bhagat be in an F1 Race? Poll Position. Ok bad joke.
That's it folks for today's rants. Much more will come later. Hope your are as upset as I am with the nitwittery going on in this world. Share some in the comments.
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